Got up at 6am on a Saturday to write for at least five hours, b nothing went according to plan. It’s now my regular bed time, I’m falling asleep trying to squeeze out today’s word count and not succeeding. Up early again tomorrow to try again.
Why is this going south on me? Why are my friends against me? Ramsden paced in front of his desk trying to sort through events.
My files are off to my dad. Check. I’ve made progress without killing myself. Check. I could have killed my team. Check. Team is not dead but sorting through the new data. Check. What am I left to do with myself?
Ramsden stopped pacing and sat on the side of his desk, crossing his arms in front of his chest. I need to probably talk to Mr. Jainukul and update him. What I need to do is figure out why I couldn’t tap into the leylines again. How much time needs to pass before I can try it again? Days? Weeks?
Ramsden looked up and through the windows of his office he could see out into the main floor where his team worked. As they bustled around, they yelled over at each other. Smiles were much a part of their interaction. I don’t have fun any more. At least J.J. tries to lighten the mood by cracking jokes or poking fun at someone, but I’ve been dead serious ever since I found out about the jungle cave and nearly killed myself.
If all this is going to do is make me no fun to be around or remove my ability to have fun, why am I doing it? Why try to open a way into another dimension? Is it only because I can or is there something else there?
A memory of his dad flashed through his mind from a time when he was young and his dad would come home from work. In those times they lived on whatever base his father was assigned to. His father would walk in the door and the first thing he’d do was take of his chaplin’s collar. Then he would sit on the couch and take a deep breath and look around. It didn’t matter how badly Ramsden wanted to talk to his father. Even if he was tugging on his dad’s pant leg his father would ignore him till he did his little ritual. It was as if he was exhaling the day and then taking in their home.
His dad would often say, “Son, I could go into the private sector and make some good money. But I would never be home. It’s not worth it to me to miss out on you and your mother.” He never really thought about that, but he was in a similar situation. What did he really live and work for? He knew that answer to that, it was proving his Dad’s Bible that was crammed down his throat isn’t the only truth in the universe, but science had answers too. He didn’t need is dad’s God. He needed to evolve to the next stage in human evolution and that meant either true space travel and colonization or it meant dimensional travel.
He had a chance to be a pioneer in a field that all his peers think is crazy talk and want nothing to do with it. Fine by him. It was a relief he didn’t have to compete with others to make the discoveries he was making. But why the urgency then? Why the recklessness when he didn’t have to hurry things along? It must be because he felt like he was so close to a breakthrough. Why couldn’t anyone understand that?
Ramsden wanted to kick himself. Maybe they did understand and that is what makes Ramsden unsafe to be around. What’s the solution then. Just stop trying? No. He has to see this through. It wasn’t that his team didn’t believe, they’ve all seen it happen. It’s that. . .it’s that. . .he can’t help himself. It’s like a drug, he has to keep pushing on. . .with or without them.
* * *
Granted Agent Lance Caldwell had been surprised by the amount of desk work for his job, but it was pretty straight forward, not much strange about it. Till today, when the lab results had come back. The green grass sample was exactly that, wild grass growing healthy on its own. The other grass had been not only void of color or brown, but there was no living cells at all . It was in fact dead.
He maybe wouldn’t have thought of much of it. Maybe someone had a container or something in that spot, which explains why the round shape and smashed grass. Leave it in place for any period of time and the grass underneath will yellow, then die. He found no yellow grass in the bunch. What he did find were some of the samples, though small in size, were exactly half living and half dead. He must have grabbed some grass between the radiation field and the non-radiation field. That is what makes matters worse. The radiation would have leaked a bit and caused uneven contamination, but not split down the middle or any part, depending on where on the dividing line it was growing at the time time.